by Bruce J. Stewart

1.         Listen More than You Speak – We have much to learn from our students and colleagues.  If you find yourself doing most of the talking while teaching, it’s time to change the dynamic.  Empower your students to do the heavy lifting.  For example, use open ended questions, Socratic dialogue, and group work.  Ask student volunteers to summarize the lesson’s objectives.  The adage Learn to Listen and then Listen to Learn makes perfect sense.  Also, see number 6 that follows.

2.         Read Every Day – Read for enjoyment, inspiration, and professional development.  Make time in your day, every day, to read.  Shut down social media, texts, and email for at least 30 minutes or more, so you can learn something new; or relax; or to be inspired.  You won’t regret it.

3.         Practice Daily Giving – Whether it’s a smile, words of encouragement, or the giving of a cup of coffee to a colleague, your small gift will create a big memory.  For our students, enthusiasm is the best gift we can give them each day.

4.         Journaling – How many times have you told yourself, “I must write that down so I don’t forget.”  Your journal, the recipient of your thoughts, won’t let you forget, or talk back to you, or interrupt your writing.  Journaling can be therapeutic; but if you use your computer for journaling, be aware, the time thieves are waiting for you, tempting you – their intention is disruption.  Don’t click on the bait, no matter how tempting it looks!

5.         Avoid the Energy Thieves – The teachers’ lounge, school hallways, and the parking lot are where you’ll find the energy thieves.  These are the people who always have a litany of problems to share with anyone who will listen.  Perhaps you’ve offered a solution to the thief once or twice only to be rebuffed with an encyclopedic list of reasons why your solution won’t work. Yikes. Stay away.

6.         Collaborate – Seek a mentor.  There’s a colleague in your school patiently waiting to share insight, advice, and friendship. Invite a trusted colleague to share a cup of coffee and to seek their advice. You may begin by asking, “I’ve observed your students are always engaged in their group work.  What tips can you offer me to engage my students in a similar manner?” 

7.         Relax, Reflect, and Relate – Teaching is both art and science; and it is all relational. Create time in your day to take a few minutes, or more, to relax; to unwind a little and reflect on a student or a colleague that made you smile. It’s the relationships that you share in the classroom and with your colleagues that is at the heart of teaching.  Be genuine, be yourself, and you will be blessed.

By Bruce J. Stewart

The author Robert J. Wicks in his book Seeds of Sensitivity writes, “For years, there has been a movement afoot in both psychology and spirituality to release people from the chains of unreasonable guilt and undeserved shame.  (Guilt is “I made a mistake.” Shame is “I am a mistake.” 1995)²   Shame has been both a deliberate and unintended consequence in many schools in the United States. 

The Restorative Practice philosophy believes in maintaining a person’s dignity and respect, always.  When educators treat students with dignity and respect at all times, even if they misbehave, a positive school culture is affirmed.  Students need boundaries, guidance, and opportunities for growth, especially when they misbehave. When students make restitution for their misbehavior, whether through the guidance of a teacher, or through self-reflection, they grow in self-control and self-confidence.

         RP teaches students to understand that their behavior choices have outcomes and consequences.  Emotionally immature students do not want to accept full responsibility for their actions.  However, when students admit that their behavior choices have outcomes and consequences, they learn the importance of resolving problems created by their poor decisions. 

The objective is to teach students that consequences of inappropriate behavior adversely affect the community in which they belong.  Accepting the responsibility to make restitution to restore the harm caused by their actions fosters emotional maturity.

         Simply stated, “Restorative Practice helps build character.”

Catholic School Principals:

Is professional development, focused on Restorative Practice, a part of your school improvement plan?  If not, here’s why it needs to be. 

by Bruce J. Stewart

Teacher professional development focused on Restorative Practice is an investment in your school’s vitality and mission.  Restorative Practice inspires and facilitates every student’s emotional growth, autonomy, and responsibility.  Here’s the outcome. Students learn self-control and initiative to become positive contributors to the class community. Student retention is maximized. New enrollment becomes a function of a positive, empathetic school culture that inspires families to share and broadcast gratitude for their children’s teachers.

When teachers use disciplinary practices that shame a student; or use punishment, instead of restitution; or attempt to control students instead of facilitating autonomy; the student feels unloved and resentful. Academic learning is compromised, if not negated.  However, the most significant harm is the emotional damage to the student’s self-esteem. Professional development, focused on Restorative Practice, inspires teachers to abandon traditional methods of discipline (i.e. punishment and shame) in favor of empathy and compassion. When teachers “seek first to understand”, they make an emotional connection with their students that leads to empathy and compassion. 

Thus, the value proposition of Catholic education becomes a broad-based, collaborative environment in which the teachers exemplify empathy and compassion to nurture the social-emotional growth of all students.  Love and forgiveness, the heart of the New Testament, truly becomes the soul of the ministry of teaching in Catholic education.

Moreover, the compound effect of all teachers sharing in the development of a student’s autonomy, initiative, and responsibility through Restorative Practice, nurtures students’ positive self-image and self-confidence.  A positive self-image protects a student from the negative effects of stress inflicted by social media, advertising, and peer pressure.

Yet, love and forgiveness should be the hallmark of all teachers.  Sadly, too many educational institutions stubbornly refuse to adopt the power of empathetic practices of compassion in favor of punishment.

Fr. Greg Boyle, the Jesuit priest whose ministry of working with former gang members in Los Angeles, demonstrates the transformative power of love and forgiveness.  Fr. Greg’s work which has been well documented in his two books, Tattoos on the Heart and Barking to the Choir, recount the transformative process of former gang members, who, when bestowed with unconditional love, are reborn. The Peace Prayer of St. Francis, succinctly states the philosophy of Restorative Practice at the heart of Fr. Greg’s Tattoos on the Heart — The Power of Boundless Compassion:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

To put it into today’s terms, Restorative Practice in education is the “game-changer” that inspires and nurtures the soul of all children and young adults – Be Boundless!  

By Bruce J. Stewart

“It was my third grade teacher. She got me,” said Miss Maria an aspiring teacher candidate. 

Her response was not “She got to me,” or “She forgot me.”  It was clearly stated, “She GOT me.” 

Miss Maria paused before continuing, “She really understood me.” 

After another pause, she reached for the tissue in the middle of the table then wiped the tears that had formed in her eyes. Miss Maria continued, “It was a difficult year for me because my parents divorced and my mother and I moved to a new city.  But my third grade teacher, Miss Olivia, seemed like the only person in the world that understood what I was going through. Every morning she told me, ‘I’m so pleased to see you today.’

Compassion and Empathy – The Two Super Powers of Outstanding Teachers. 

Have you experienced a teacher in your life that “got” you?  During interviews with teacher candidates, I always sought to learn of their compassion and empathy for their students.  During the interview, I would ask, “Please describe the teacher who had the biggest positive impact in your life.”  More than once while describing the teacher, the candidate’s emotion showed in their tears. This explained why tissue paper was always within arm’s reach. 

Compassionate teachers seek first to understand before being understood.  Compassionate teachers choose empathy as their response to a student’s misbehavior or apathy.  Creating a sense of belonging in the classroom means “to be there” for each student every day of the school year.  When we, as teachers, create a sense of belonging in the classroom, our understanding of the needs of each student begins to deepen.  Through an unconditional acceptance of our students and the anxiety and trauma they may carry, we earn their trust and respect.   

During the interview with Miss Maria, I was inspired by her gratitude and admiration for Miss Olivia. My belief that Miss Maria would emulate her third grade teacher was confirmed within the first few hours of the new school year.  Miss Maria, unaware that she would be inheriting several fourth grade students whose adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) explained their lack of academic progress and defiant tendencies, used her infectious enthusiasm to cajole, connect, and engage with all her fourth grade students. 

The three “P’s” of teaching: personality, professionalism, and passion, seemingly came naturally to her. To be honest, I was a little apprehensive as “Back to School” night was approaching.  I knew that Miss Maria would share with the parents that this was her first teaching assignment. However, I was prepared to share my vigorous support for her and I would be present in her classroom during her meeting with the parents.

At Back to School night, Miss Maria greeted her “guests” as they entered the classroom with a genuine welcome and an infectious smile.  When all parents were seated, Miss Maria thanked the parents for being there then asked each parent to introduce themselves.  She then followed up each introduction with a positive anecdote about their child that never failed to bring a smile to all of the attendees.  The ease with which she welcomed the parents foretold an indelible school year for Miss Maria’s students.  Miss Maria engaged the parents during her forty minute preview of the fourth grade scholarly, social, and personal goals and objectives.  It earned her a standing ovation.  As the parents exited the classroom, Miss Maria thanked each parent by name.

After her guests had exited the classroom, a lone mother remained, perhaps a parent new to the school. She approached Miss Maria and gave her a big hug.  “Maria, my dear,” she said. “You were marvelous. And you remembered every parent’s name.  I am so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Miss Maria said.  “I want to introduce you to another person who believes in me.”

Miss Maria turned towards me and said, “Mr. Stewart, I’m so pleased that you were present tonight.  I would like you to meet a very special person in my life.  She’s always been my mentor, my friend, and she’s always been there for me.  Mr. Stewart, please meet my third grade teacher, Miss Olivia.”

“It is well to think well; it is Divine to act well.” –Horace Mann

1. Are your lesson plans designed for the success of all students, especially those students who need you the most?

2. What evidence demonstrates that your grading policy is fair and equitable for all students?

3. Do you meet ALL students where they are emotionally? 

4. Are you aware of the effects of ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences), especially mental and physical trauma which explain a student’s anger, defiance, and/or apathy?

5. Is your discipline policy based on punishment rather than logical consequences; and teaching a student how to make restitution for their misbehavior and/or mistakes?

6. Do you have a tendency to blame others or make excuses rather than seek continual improvement?

7. Do you model the behavior, attitude, and work habits that you expect from your students?

8. With schools returning to a “new normal,” are you ready to serve those students whose lack of on-line resources and/or chaotic home environment negated their learning?

9. As a principal, do you expect more of your faculty and staff than you do of yourself?

10. Do you support and stand up for “that student” when a colleague passes judgement on him or her?

“It is with a word as with an arrow – once let it loose and it does not return.” –Abd-el-Kader

By Bruce J. Stewart

Are you a teacher, counselor, or educator?  What will you celebrate today with your students or colleagues? 

The English word, celebrate, differs only slightly from its Latin root, “celebrare.”   “Celebrate” is derived from the Latin celebrare, meaning “to assemble to honor.”  The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines celebrate as 1) to perform (a sacrament or solemn ceremony) publicly and with appropriate rites; and to honor (an occasion, such as a holiday) especially by solemn ceremonies or by refraining from ordinary business.

As schools begin to reassemble for in-person learning, it is time to celebrate.  It’s time to honor the students for their forced resiliency.  It’s time to welcome them back with gratitude and empathy for experiencing difficult and unique learning challenges.  Without a doubt, the emotional capacity of teachers, parents, and students has been tested during the pandemic.

Some students may return to the classroom having embraced online learning which has accelerated their academic skills.  Some students may return to the traditional classroom with observable academic advancement.  However, many students may return to the classroom with their academic progress negated.

A child’s learning loss during the past 12 months can be attributed to several factors, including:

• inadequate or minimal access to online resources
• a chaotic home environment
• for older students, the necessity to work to help support family living expenses
• minimal encouragement and no emotional support from parents or guardians
• emotional harm stemming from Covid related trauma, i.e. death of a parent, grandparent, etc.

A child’s learning loss resulting from these factors presents new challenges for educators.  The issues of educational equity and equality should be at the forefront as schools move towards “normalcy.”  The new normal is likely to see even greater discrepancies in academic progress between students in the same grade level.  The new normal will emphasize emotional support for students.

What steps should teachers and educators take to address these new challenges?

The restorative discipline philosophy offers a compassionate philosophy and methodology as students return to the classroom.  The following suggestions will help teachers expand their outreach to welcome students and to ensure equitable access to resources.  

1. Understand that learning loss was an unintended consequence of remote learning through no fault of the student.
2. Celebrate the presence of each student by honoring their return to the class community.
3. Expect that some students will be suffering the trauma of the loss of a “loved one.”
4. Share empathy for high school students whose employment contributed to the family income.
5. Remember the following 4 super powers of teachers love, cheerfulness, faith, and enthusiasm.
6. Explore, collaborate, and discover equitable resources within the school to help all students.

High school students returning to the classroom may carry additional work responsibilities in homes for which they have been providing financial support.  This presents a unique situation.  The family has relied on their income, yet their return to the classroom requires their daily presence at school.  The additional strain on the student may jeopardize their academic success. A teacher’s empathetic understanding of this predicament by offering some flexibility in assignments can ease the student’s probable anxiety.

It’s also time to celebrate the resiliency and mental toughness of your colleagues.  Reflect on your own personal and professional growth during the past year.  Discuss with your colleagues how overcoming the adversities of the past year have opened your minds to new ways of thinking. 

Ultimately, moving forward following trauma or adversity becomes a choice.  However, the skills you have learned and the acquisition of greater mental toughness will facilitate greater teaching success. Your students, especially the young children who experienced learning loss will benefit the most. 

“The Greatest Discovery”

By Bruce J. Stewart

Is your attitude an asset or a liability?  

The word asset is defined as “a useful or valuable thing, person, or quality.”  Based on the popularity of self-help books, many people, perhaps most people, view their attitude as a flexible and malleable aspect of their being.   

William James, known as the “Father of American Psychology,” wrote in 1890, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”  Let’s take William James’s statement a step further by proposing that, to change your life, you must begin by changing your attitude.  

A person’s thoughts lead to actions.  What thoughts can lead to positive action that will change the outcome of a person’s life?

During my time as an English teacher at an urban middle school, I met teachers, staff, and students with profoundly different attitudes. For example, harmful circumstances beyond a student’s control defined their resiliency.  In the face of extreme adverse conditions of a chaotic home life, many students endured through an attitude of gratitude. They were grateful for the safety and security of the school environment.  They were grateful for the compassion and kindness of many teachers and staff.  These students appreciated the daily small acts of a kindness, such as a word of encouragement, or a smile, or a snack.  By experiencing their gratitude, I learned their resiliency was accompanied by an irrepressible and positive attitude.

I have heard it said that “gratitude is the memory of the heart.” It’s only when we give something from our heart without any expectation of gaining something in return that we are rewarded.  The custodian who meticulously cleaned my classroom every evening, who cleaned the restrooms, and made sure the hallway floor was shiny, told me his work was an act of gratitude.  “I am grateful for the opportunity to contribute to the students’ education. The students are always very kind to me,” he said.  “It makes me want to do the best job I can.”  

The root word of custodian is from the Latin, custos, meaning guardian.  As an educator, my responsibility is also custodial.  I often ask myself if my attitude reflects the obligation to work to the best of my ability like the custodian who cleans each classroom; or like many of my students who overcame significant hardship. What I do know however, is that an attitude of gratitude keeps me living in the present moment.  And when I am fully present to my students, my gratitude is the asset that serves them best.   

A Teacher’s Destiny to Serve

By Bruce J. Stewart

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” –Albert Schweitzer (1875 – 1965). German theologian and philosopher

During the COVID-19 pandemic, our nation’s children need their teachers now more than ever before.  This is not to say that all students should return to school.  It is to say that whether children are learning remotely, at school, or in a hybrid environment, the nation’s teachers have their greatest responsibility ever.

Here’s why.  The educational community knows that students with a dysfunctional home environment are the students that need us, the professional educators most.  For a variety of reasons, the home life of children in the United States continues to change.  There are more stressors on parents, grandparents, single parent households, and guardians than ever before.  There are an unprecedented number of children who are experiencing legitimate anxiety which manifests itself in the classroom. 

And all of that was before COVID-19.

Today, all children are very likely experiencing anxiety related to COVID-19.  The list of reasons is long.  And, the anxiety is real and expected to persist.

Michael Garanzini, S.J., Ph.D., author of Child-Centered, Family-Sensitive Schools: An Educator’s Guide to Family Dynamics, asserts, “A more child-centered perspective requires that the educator appreciate the difficulties and sources of anxiety stemming from both the child’s key relationships and the family system.  In other words, the family’s ability to cope effectively with internal and external stress determines to a large extent the child’s capacity to productively utilize the school environment.”

How can the nation’s teachers help our students?

Teachers must be united in their belief that they are not just purveyors of information and knowledge.  Rather, they became a teacher to influence lives.  Today’s the day to share your love and appreciation for accepting the responsibility to be a teacher, an influencer, a role model, a caring human being in a time in need.  Speak with sincerity and positivity.  A negative attitude can and will aggravate a fragile situation. 

Ensure that your students understand the seriousness of this pandemic.  Explain that the choices we must make to mitigate this disease are informed decisions based on the scientific evidence.  These choices include social distancing; and the need to protect ourselves and others around us by wearing a mask. 

I suggest that a discussion on civics and responsibility would be a good starting point for middle school and high school students.   Invite your students into the conversation.  Engage them to share their views regarding freedom and the responsibility to their community.  Invite them to discuss an individual’s responsibility to seek the common good of the community.

The educational system, primarily the frontline professionals, must adapt to this new reality.  By embracing a restorative mindset, teachers will seek compassionate solutions for their students now.  Teachers, students, and parents are in this pandemic together.  Everyone is experiencing different levels of anxiety or even fear related to the pandemic.  However, by remaining calm, teachers will provide a welcoming environment to their students.  It would be nice to give the young children a hug.  However, an abundance of smiles may be required to ease tension instead. 

Wearing masks makes student engagement and discussion even more difficult.   Smile with your eyes.  Your words possess enormous power as well.  Use language carefully and with intention to create an environment of positivity and respect. Words like “I understand that the mask can be frustrating, but we are in this together” are powerful.  

Encourage ‘breathing breaks.’  Let students know that they are welcome to step in the hallway for a minute to pull the mask away from their face to breathe.  Appreciate the different color patterns, designs, and the individuality that their masks may represent.

These suggestions can offer comfort to many students as they return to the classroom.  The PPE, the desk shields, the sanitizers, and the social distancing reminders, are triggers which may promote additional anxiety. Minimizing and eliminating anxiety will serve your students very well.

Always remember, the students who need us most are the ones who come to school:

• Late because both parents are now working overtime.
• Afraid because their parents have lost their jobs.
• Hungry.
• Wearing the same clothes for the past few weeks.
• Wearing a sweatshirt in 90 degree weather to cover the bruises on their arms.
• Wearing a fake smile which hides the verbal abuse inflicted each evening.
• Without their homework because they were caring for their little sister.
• With a bad attitude because that is all they experience at home.
• With a dirty face.
• Without their backpack because they were evicted from their motel room.
• Without self-confidence because they are weary and ready to give up.
• Who are unable to participate digitally at home due to lack of resources.
• Who are living through the COVID-19 pandemic.

Be the teacher, the administrator, the counselor, the school nurse, the parent, the colleague, who says, “Yes, it is my destiny to serve our children with compassion and kindness in this time of need.” 

Note: A special thanks to Alex Stewart, a high school English teacher in Reno, NV, for his contributions to this post.  

The Law of Giving

By Bruce J. Stewart

“The universe operates through dynamic exchange . . .  giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe.  And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.” – Deepak Chopra, Author, Philosopher, Speaker

Have you allowed a student to frustrate you – to rent space in your head?  When was the last time you invested a significant amount of time and energy into preparing and delivering a lesson only to have some students show apathy, disrespect, or belligerence?  This situation has happened to every teacher.  Our first thought is usually, “that student is so ungrateful, and so entitled.”  Or, we might personalize our thoughts by saying, “well if that was my child, you can bet that he would never do such a thing.”

If this has happened to you, ask yourself the following questions:

• “Did I remain in the present moment during the entire lesson I was teaching?”
• “Have I learned how to detach myself from the outcome of a lesson?”
• “Did I demonstrate respect and kindness with all students?”
• “Do I hold a grudge with some students when they are disrespectful?”

Here’s some advice that really helped me.  It’s very likely you have learned the axiom, “Failure to plan is planning to fail.”  I planned lessons meticulously to be certain that I could keep my students highly engaged for the duration of the class period.  However, I learned very quickly that I must also prepare my mind – to establish the best mindset prior to beginning each day and each lesson.  By consciously repeating affirmations to myself, I was able to shift my perspective.  My “mindset” preparation became as important as my methods, strategies, and a focus on critical thinking.  I utilized the following self-affirmations:

• I will practice the Law of Giving this day – I will share joy with all students today.  In return, I can be certain that many students will reciprocate and share their joy with me.” 
• I will stay in the present so that I can be as attentive as possible to all students.
• I will share a smile freely with my students today, so that they can reflect my enthusiasm for learning.
• I will detach myself from the outcome of today’s lessons.  Being detached from the outcome means that I will freely accept the present moment for what it is.  If a student is having a “bad” day, I will maintain my kindness and know that their struggle is an opportunity for growth.

Being detached from the outcome does not mean that you do not have specific objectives for each lesson.  It means that you will allow your positive energy to flow freely during the course of the lesson.  At the conclusion of the lesson or better yet, during your quiet time, pause to reflect on each student’s social, emotional, and academic growth.  The Law of Giving kindness, attention, and encouragement will always work in your favor. 

Mindset, Character, and Restorative Discipline

By Bruce J. Stewart

 “Character – the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life – is the source from which self-respect springs.” –Joan Didion , American author

The dictionary defines mindset as: “the established set of attitudes held by someone.”  A “restorative” mindset is in harmony with all of the best qualities of a teacher, an educator, and all people of integrity and character whose purpose-filled life is defined by serving others.

On the other hand, a punitive approach to student discipline is in conflict to the intended outcomes.  Separate and competing mindsets cannot coexist without conflict and will undermine the intended outcomes that Coach John Wooden, a master teacher, implores teachers to “bring out” — confidence, poise, imagination, initiative, tolerance, humility, love, cheerfulness, faith, enthusiasm, courage, honesty, serenity.

How do you bring value to your classroom?  A restorative mindset celebrates and complements all of the qualities that make you an excellent teacher.  When you bring your qualities of love, imagination, honesty, and enthusiasm to the classroom, your students learn, and your value increases.  All forms of growth — emotional, social, and academic are the result of what we focus on and which are practiced often.  A restorative mindset believes that a person attracts success through positive thoughts, action, and habits.  Ideas can be life changing.  When we use our imagination, excuses and blame disappears.  As a leader, your actions are the result of your own beliefs nurtured by confidence and courage.

However, be prepared to face criticism.  In particular, your colleagues may not agree with the Restorative Discipline philosophy.  Your values may be questioned, including the good that is a result of your teaching.  Expect that your methods will be attacked as well, especially when using student behavior infractions as learning opportunities.  Your courage and leadership will ultimately inspire and teach your students. The social and emotional growth evident in your students will be the best testament to your methods inspired by your mindset.

Mutual trust between teacher and students has amazing power.  Trust has the potential to change the trajectory in the life of a student who learns responsibility. Responsibility leads to maturity.   Therefore, when students accept full responsibility for their actions and behavior, they accept the logical consequences of poor choices.  This includes making amends and restitution when they have harmed another person or have adversely affected the community to which they belong.  When students learn the power of restitution they grow with empathy and compassion. 

Simply stated, “Restorative Discipline helps build character.”

The author, Dean Sims, in his book, “A Clear View to the Lake,” writes, “There is no correlation between character and material success but there is an absolute and unshakeable correlation between character and self-respect.  And from self-respect grows an inevitable harmony in human relations, confidence, resilience, perseverance, optimism and ultimately contentment.”

Let’s teach our students to experience self-respect through a mindset inspired by hope, optimism, and an unfailing commitment of service to others.

What Restorative Discipline is Not

• It is NOT a “canned program.”
• It is NOT meant to replace what you are currently doing.
• It WILL NOT be forgotten.  (Because it is in harmony with the human spirit.)
• It DOES NOT come bound in a 3-ring binder which will then sit on a shelf in the faculty lounge. (But your Restorative Discipline Resource Handbook WILL BE in high demand.)
• It DOES NOT require that the entire school adopt this mindset, although that is HIGHLY DESIRABLE.