By Bruce J. Stewart
“It was my third grade teacher. She got me,” said Miss Maria an aspiring teacher candidate.
Her response was not “She got to me,” or “She forgot me.” It was clearly stated, “She GOT me.”
Miss Maria paused before continuing, “She really understood me.”
After another pause, she reached for the tissue in the middle of the table then wiped the tears that had formed in her eyes. Miss Maria continued, “It was a difficult year for me because my parents divorced and my mother and I moved to a new city. But my third grade teacher, Miss Olivia, seemed like the only person in the world that understood what I was going through. Every morning she told me, ‘I’m so pleased to see you today.’
Compassion and Empathy – The Two Super Powers of Outstanding Teachers.
Have you experienced a teacher in your life that “got” you? During interviews with teacher candidates, I always sought to learn of their compassion and empathy for their students. During the interview, I would ask, “Please describe the teacher who had the biggest positive impact in your life.” More than once while describing the teacher, the candidate’s emotion showed in their tears. This explained why tissue paper was always within arm’s reach.
Compassionate teachers seek first to understand before being understood. Compassionate teachers choose empathy as their response to a student’s misbehavior or apathy. Creating a sense of belonging in the classroom means “to be there” for each student every day of the school year. When we, as teachers, create a sense of belonging in the classroom, our understanding of the needs of each student begins to deepen. Through an unconditional acceptance of our students and the anxiety and trauma they may carry, we earn their trust and respect.
During the interview with Miss Maria, I was inspired by her gratitude and admiration for Miss Olivia. My belief that Miss Maria would emulate her third grade teacher was confirmed within the first few hours of the new school year. Miss Maria, unaware that she would be inheriting several fourth grade students whose adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) explained their lack of academic progress and defiant tendencies, used her infectious enthusiasm to cajole, connect, and engage with all her fourth grade students.
The three “P’s” of teaching: personality, professionalism, and passion, seemingly came naturally to her. To be honest, I was a little apprehensive as “Back to School” night was approaching. I knew that Miss Maria would share with the parents that this was her first teaching assignment. However, I was prepared to share my vigorous support for her and I would be present in her classroom during her meeting with the parents.
At Back to School night, Miss Maria greeted her “guests” as they entered the classroom with a genuine welcome and an infectious smile. When all parents were seated, Miss Maria thanked the parents for being there then asked each parent to introduce themselves. She then followed up each introduction with a positive anecdote about their child that never failed to bring a smile to all of the attendees. The ease with which she welcomed the parents foretold an indelible school year for Miss Maria’s students. Miss Maria engaged the parents during her forty minute preview of the fourth grade scholarly, social, and personal goals and objectives. It earned her a standing ovation. As the parents exited the classroom, Miss Maria thanked each parent by name.
After her guests had exited the classroom, a lone mother remained, perhaps a parent new to the school. She approached Miss Maria and gave her a big hug. “Maria, my dear,” she said. “You were marvelous. And you remembered every parent’s name. I am so proud of you.”
“Thank you,” Miss Maria said. “I want to introduce you to another person who believes in me.”
Miss Maria turned towards me and said, “Mr. Stewart, I’m so pleased that you were present tonight. I would like you to meet a very special person in my life. She’s always been my mentor, my friend, and she’s always been there for me. Mr. Stewart, please meet my third grade teacher, Miss Olivia.”